What adults can learn from kids about potty talk

It’s just poop. Grow up. Or actually, maybe don’t.

Navjit Kaur Moore wishes adults would be a little less precious about their bowel movements and act a little more like children.

Moore, who has spent years leading support groups for those with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), says that when it comes to talking about the symptoms of IBD, there’s no one like a kid to cut to the heart of the matter.

“When you’re interacting with kids, they don’t have these societal concepts, so they’re just talking about poop like it’s any other day, like any other subject,” says Moore, who was recognized last week with one of British Columbia’s highest honours, the Medal of Good Citizenship. “It would be nice if adults could get back to that and were able to talk about poop or bowel habits just as regularly as we’re able to talk about our diet.”

Moore knows all this first hand. Because her own challenges with IBD have spurred her to help others facing similar issues—and may shape her new career as a physician.

Serious symptoms

Moore was in her third year of study at the University of British Columbia when she first developed the signs of inflammatory bowel disease and ulcerative colitis: diarrhea, abdominal pain and bleeding. She had previously been healthy, and the symptoms were more than annoying: they kept her up all night and left her losing blood, weight and sleep.

Some time after originally being diagnosed with a “mild” form of the chronic disease, she ended up in hospital, suffering from IBD symptoms. As doctors were about to send her back home, a sudden demonstration of the severity of her issues, led doctors to perform more tests and diagnose her with a more severe form, and provide her medication to address her issues. The problem was so severe, Moore had to withdraw from her classes and stop all extracurricular activities.

“I was a driven, disciplined student…. this kind of put a dent in my plans,” she said, “But in hindsight it turned out to be a really good thing because I learned how to be flexible.”

Moore researched her condition, learned how to live with a chronic medical issue and went back to university. But she also took it further than most, contacting Crohn’s and Colitis Canada, a charity that supports research on IBD and helps support those dealing with it.

Although Moore grew up in Burnaby and was living in the Vancouver area, she was told by the charity that they were struggling for enough volunteers in Abbotsford and the Fraser Valley. The organization held an annual “gutsy” walk to raise money and awareness of the issue at Mill Lake, and could use someone to help out.

“I said ‘You know, why not?’” (It helped that her fiance lived in the area and volunteering provided a good excuse to visit him.)

That was more than eight years ago. Soon after, the charity sought to create a formal Fraser Valley chapter, which would involve forming a monthly support group. Navjit would end up not only leading those support groups but becoming president of the new chapter.

At the same time, her own career plans were expanding and shifting because of her experience in the medical system.

Years of managing multiple medications for her illness led her to apply for UBC’s pharmacy program. She graduated from that during the pandemic, then applied for, and entered, medical school.

Now three years in, Moore is in her medical training’s “clerkship” phase, during which she spends time in a variety of medical settings learning about how different specialties—and physicians—operate.

She sees some doctors who listen to patients for 10 minutes, and others who spend a half-hour with each person. And, after experiencing the value of long, incredibly detailed support groups, she knows which kind of doctor she will be.

“I do want to instill patience into my practice,” she said. “I want [patients] to leave the room like ‘OK I got all my questions answered.”

Finding support

Moore’s first support group visit came alongside a family friend who also has colitis and who had been diagnosed a year earlier.

Moore was shy that first time and refrained from speaking. So she just listened. And what she heard was revelatory.

At its core, inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a condition that involves the faulty operation of the part of the body that processes our food. (IBD includes two separate conditions: Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis) The misfiring of the gastrointestinal tract can lead to a huge variety of symptoms, ranging from anemia to fevers to chronic lack of sleep. Society doesn’t talk much—in any serious sense—about bowel operations going right or wrong. But at the support group, Moore listened as speaker after speaker shared not only their difficulties but, crucially, the ways they were managing their symptoms.

“I [had] never talked to anyone about my stool habits with anyone but maybe my parents or my doctor,” Moore said. “I was grateful …. because I realized there was a community of people like me out there. It was a sense of relief because I thought ‘OK, I’m not the only one.’”

But an IBD support group isn’t just for finding mental strength from others dealing with a shared challenge. It can also be a source of critical information.

IBD might pose a huge range of challenges, but patients can fight back both with standard medical responses like medication and with lifestyle tweaks—including but not limited to alterations to one’s diet and sleep strategies—that can help ease the burden of the chronic condition. So Moore spent that first meeting with a pen and paper, scribbling down the advice from everyone who spoke.

Since that first encounter with a support group, Moore has become an expert on the illness and talking about bowel issues. Now, she spends around two hours each month leading support groups. The Abbotsford chapter Moore led has since expanded to cover the entire Fraser Valley region.

Since the pandemic, meetings have been held virtually. That Moore says, has been a mixed blessing. On the one hand, in-person meetings felt more human and natural. But holding them online has made it easier for more people from across the region to participate. The accessibility of online meetings is particularly useful for those with IBD because those suffering from a “flare up”—when a person may have to make 20-odd bathroom trips a day—can find it difficult, if not impossible, to leave their homes.

Let’s talk about poop

Today, Moore’s life is split, in a way, between groups of people who must think about their bowels all the time and those who try to avoid the issue as much as possible.

In pharmacy school, Moore and a team of classmates had an assignment involving a patient with inflammatory bowel disease. Moore spent an entire meeting giving her classmates a crash course on the intricacies of bowel conditions and their causes. They, like most of the public, knew incredibly little about the conditions.

Moore would love to see that change and for the general public to become more comfortable talking about both the illnesses and “gut health” in general.

The colon, she notes, is an important organ that people use every day. And inflammatory bowel disease is incredibly common, with more than 300,000 believed to live with the condition.

But talking about it remains difficult for many.

“Even the word poop, people will say it and laugh,” she says. “It’s highly stigmatized. People feel a bit embarrassed.”

Which is why Moore loves support groups where children are involved (pediatric IBD is very common).

“Diarrhea is a symptom. It’s the same as nausea, the same as a headache. I’m hoping one day we’re able to get to that place where the symptoms of gastrointestinal diseases are just as openly talked about as others.”

Moore was one of 22 British Columbians awarded the 2023 Medal of Good Citizenship. In addition to her work helming Crohn’s and Colitis Canada’s Fraser Valley East chapter—and helping raise more than $100,000—Moore was honoured for a decade of volunteering at Burnaby hospital. Moore also co-founded South Asian Woman’s Health Talk, an initiative aimed at delivering health information to South Asian women.

Moore said she was ‘speechless’ when she was called about the award. “I recognize volunteering is a privilege. not everyone is available to have the time or lifestyle to volunteer,” she said, before paying tribute to her colleagues at Crohn’s and Colitis Canada and other volunteering locations.

You can find information on how to get involved with Moore’s chapter here.