Bad year. Great neighbours.

Arlene Wyenberg had a difficult 2022. But let’s not dwell on that; Arlene definitely doesn’t.

No. Call up Arlene, and you won’t hear much about her husband’s death last year or her diagnosis with incurable bone cancer just months later. Instead, you’ll hear all about some of the best neighbours around.

Arlene and her husband Dale moved to the Silver Creek area of Hope six years ago. Having both retired, the pair sold their home in Delta and sought a property to the east with enough room to park their mobile home. With prices being what they were, they ended up on the outskirts of Hope.

Arlene had passed through Hope to and from trips to the Okanagan, but had never really considered it as a future home. Her impressions were like those of many travellers: Hope was a town one travelled through, not a place to settle down.

But, Arlene learned, “you should stop because it’s a fabulous little community.”

Arlene loved the people and the activities around town, both indoors and out. She did yoga, joined walking groups, played golf, and visited markets.

“It’s amazing, for a small town, what goes on here,” she told me. “If you say you’re bored, you’re not looking.”

Arlene was never one to dwell on age—”according to the numbers, I’m in my late 70s” she says—but time marched on and exerted its will.

Last year was a hard one.

Her husband died after a series of health issues. Then, in October, when she went to hospital for a knee surgery, a doctor told Arlene that she had bone cancer. It was incurable, though chemo could help stall its progress.

Her retirement had suddenly grown more difficult. Her Hope property, still full of her collector husband’s belongings, posed an increasing challenge. She had a dog that required walking. And every week, she needed to get to and from the chemotherapy appointments in Abbotsford.

Cue the cavalry.

Friends everywhere

Two years earlier, Arlene and her neighbours had found themselves in a unique spot when the pandemic hit. At first glance, they were already pretty darn isolated, living on larger, forested properties on a dead-end road on the outskirts of Hope—a town where the outskirts really are the outskirts.

But as we’ve heard, Arlene and her neighbours were far from social hermits. They had dinner with one another and met peers in town. So the pandemic changed their lives. But not necessarily for the bad.

Instead of gathering indoors, they built new bonds while meeting outside with their furry friends.

“A lot of us have dogs and were out walking our dogs,” said Donna Hooker, one of Arlene’s neighbours. “So we were social distancing in the street, getting to know each other… We really got to have time with our neighbours because they were the only ones we were allowed to see.”

I first called Arlene this spring after she wrote to us about Donna’s recent support.

When I called, Arlene spoke to me from her driveway, where she stood watching another neighbour, Don Wiens, use a forklift to load an old fuel tank destined for a scrap heap onto a truck.

It seemingly wasn’t a huge coincidence that this reporter called Arlene at the exact same moment a neighbour was helping clean her property. Because to hear Arlene tell it, she is surrounded by an adopted family of people willing to help out without being asked.

Like Don, the guy with the forklift. Since Arlene’s husband died, he has been helping sort through old tools and clean up the property.

“He just pops over and starts moving the fuel tank and things, just because he knows it needs to be done,” she said.

There’s also Jim and Dorothy Quirk. Ever since Arlene’s surgery, Jim has made sure her dog (a certified mutt named Abby) is walked every day. The pair also regularly, but unobtrusively, check in to make sure all is well.

The support has been reassuring, Arlene said.

“Just a pop-in, just a phone call or just a text: ‘Everything going OK today?’ It’s nice to know that link is there.”

They and the others often provide a constant stream of helpful local knowledge. While Arlene and her husband moved to Hope relatively recently, her neighbours have lived in the area for decades. So Arlene will turn to them for advice—and often get more than she bargained for.

“What happens is I say, ‘I need someone to check the roof or do the eaves.’ The next thing you know, one of them’s over there doing it for me. You almost hate to suggest anything because it’s not that I want them to do it. It’s just ‘Who do I hire?’”

Then there’s Donna and Tom, from two doors down.

Ever since Arlene was diagnosed with cancer five months ago, the pair have insisted on driving Arlene an hour each week to her appointments in Abbotsford. Usually it’s Donna behind the wheel. She and Arlene will make an event of their trips; finding good Thai restaurants and visiting with Donna’s stepdaughter-in-law, who has also been a great help.

For Arlene, having a friend drive her has been a profound comfort.

“There are volunteer drivers, but it’s not the same as having someone closer to you that cares,” she said. “And just the thought of having to take the bus to the centre and back when you’re not feeling well after treatment would be horrendous.”

After Arlene told them about her diagnosis, Donna and Tom immediately declared they would help out whenever she needed. But even Arlene has been surprised at just how committed they are.

Arlene: “One day we were coming back from chemo and I said ‘What are you up to this afternoon.’ And she says ‘Oh I have to fly to Toronto.’

“So she had driven me to the cancer clinic and back home, and then [had to drive] back into Vancouver to catch a flight. But she didn’t tell me that because she knew I wouldn’t let her drive me to make two trips. That’s the kind of people they are. They’re awesome.”

(Other awesome people in Arlene’s book? The staff at Abbbotsford’s cancer centre. “They give you comfort; they’re not anxious… they’re fabuolous people,” she says.)

What comes next

Arlene loves Hope and her neighbours. But she expects to move to Abbotsford soon. Her health seems likely to require it.

“I’m going to have to make a move sooner or later, and I’d rather it be my choice.”

Fortunately, her husband’s family lives there and can provide support. They’ve already been a huge help during her treatment. “They’ve made me part of the family,” Arlene said.

So she will have to leave Hope and her neighbours behind. But the bonds will remain. And there are likely many more Thai restaurant visits in the future.

After all, Hope isn’t too far. And Donna is always up for a drive.