The magic of a senior’s homemade talk show

One senior’s cure for her social anxiety? A homemade TV talk show that has confirmed that ‘we’re all basically the same.’

Nancy Guitar is shy, gets anxious in public and, like many, doesn’t enjoy small talk.

Nancy Guitar also hosts her own television chat show called “Small Talk.”

If it’s a contradiction, it’s one that works for Nancy. Because not many socially anxious 74-year-olds (or 44-year-olds for that matter) have spent the last year chatting with a Norwegian metal singer, a foot-fetish entertainer, First Nation businesspeople, a yoga instructor, and a movie props master, among many others.

Nancy’s studio

In a downtown Chilliwack apartment building, the door to Nancy ’s unit stands out. On a quiet Saturday morning, it’s the only one with a “Interview in progress” sign warning neighbours not to knock.

Inside, you can find her studio in what would normally be a dining room. In Nancy’s world, though, there’s no table. In its spot sits a desk with a large monitor, a webcam, and two speakers. In front of the desk sit two chairs. Behind the chairs, a large black sheet has been tacked to the wall.

It’s not the Ed Sullivan Theatre nor even the ShawTV studio where Nancy first started interviewing friends and locals.But for Nancy, the key is what the setup—which she calls her zoom room—enables her to do: talk to anybody who might want to talk to her. Because whoever or wherever you are, Nancy is interested in you. And at the rate she is currently chatting up locals, you may end up on her show sooner rather than later.

In November, Nancy invited Haley Perechy, a Chilliwack resident involved in the town’s new cupcake festival, to her apartment for a chat about the event. They sat down, and within 10 minutes, ended up talking about Haley’s work as a self-employed foot-fetish and adult performer and adult entertainer.

The conversation provided a fascinating look at a job that few know much about. It also showcased the humour, curiosity, and go-with-the-flow nature that is the essence of Small Talk.

Haley told Nancy about how she almost accidentally became an online adult entertainer after she was told some people might have some… interest in seeing her longer-than-normal toes. Photos of feet, Haley told Nancy, was a definite moneymaking proposition. And so, laughing, Nancy started to riff off the idea that she might also be able to cash in.

“I was just thinking,” Nancy said, glanced at the camera and cocked a wry smile. “I could make some money! I don’t get paid for this. It’s just something I do because I enjoy it. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some extra income!”

The conversation was just one of many that would have never have happened without her talk show, Nancy told this reporter a month later. (She said she hasn’t pursued the idea. Yet—she also hasn’t totally ruled it out. It’s never too late to try something new.) It also sums up Nancy’s curiosity and eagerness to embrace guests with a wide variety of backgrounds and personal experiences.

“I’ve never done anything like that, or spoke to anybody who is so, you know, willing to drop the F bomb in a recorded interview,” she later told The Current (the interview only features a couple swear words). “It was wonderful! I loved it! It was a strange experience but a fun one!”

A cure for small talk

Small Talk is not fancy. It’s not at all an accident that it looks a bit like a low-tech version of a low-tech community access show.

A little more than a decade ago, Nancy and friends at her Toastmasters group were batting around the idea of their own talk show. It seemed out of reach at the time, but Nancy later answered a call for volunteers for ShawTV. There she learned how to run the camera, and passed along her contact information to a station worker. Soon after, Nancy was in her 60s and hosting a TV show for the first time.

Shaw had professional-level technology, complete with three cameras and a clapper. Their new talk show host, though, was still learning the ropes.

“I was very nervous and anxious at the beginning,” she said. “It took a while to be comfortable.”

The scary part wasn’t being on camera. There’s a difference between being shy in social situations, and shy about performing. Nancy is clearly the former, and definitely not the latter.

When she started at Shaw, she was a stranger to the camera, not the stage. She had performed in the Vagina Monalogues. She had tried stand-up comedy and improv, and was in Toastmasters. But a camera is a particularly tough audience.

“Being on camera is so different because there’s no feedback. At the beginning, I always did a little monologue and I tried to do humour, and I’m thinking ‘Is it funny? There’s nobody laughing!’ It was weird.”

Over time, though, Nancy learned how to ask questions, how to listen, and how to quell those nerves.

Then the Canadian Radio and Television Commission shut her down.

(Kind of. The CRTC altered its rules in such a way that allowed Shaw to close down its community access channel and redirect funds elsewhere.) Nancy, though, was hooked. And if Shaw didn’t need her, well, she didn’t need Shaw.

After Shaw’s demise, Nancy joined up with ChillTV, an local Chilliwack online video outlet, which began airing her interviews on its online channels. More recently, she went off completely on her own so that she could conduct and post her interviews even more frequently. Nancy wanted to do many more interviews. That wasn’t quite possible unless she took the reins herself. And Zoom, YouTube, and her improving technological skills would allow her to do that.

Live local, interview global

Since striking out on her own, Nancy has been interviewing multiple people each week. And COVID, ironically, gave her a push to branch out far beyond her downtown Chilliwack apartment.

When the pandemic began and social distancing became the norm, Nancy was mostly fine with it. She didn’t mind keeping to herself anyways. But she faced the possibility that her show might not go on.

“I was like, ‘How am I going to interview people?’ At that point, everybody was coming to me or I was going to them.”

Then Nancy heard about Zoom. She connected with a student who was showing people how to work the technology. And quickly, she began thinking globally.

“Oh my gosh! I can speak to people right across the world! Like a Punjabi singer in India. My son, who was in China, has been on the show. It’s a wonderful tool for people.”

Above all, Nancy is an advocate for approaching life with an open mind.

“I know some people here personally who have never been on the internet,” she said. “They don’t know anything about it. They’re afraid to even try. I don’t know why they’re afraid—well, I do: it’s intimidating… but it’s too bad that older people are afraid to try something new.”

‘We want to be loved’

Although her YouTube viewership numbers appear low, Nancy has nearly 3,000 Facebook friends and her videos reach a sizable audience through social media channels. Still, she doesn’t expect to make money from Small Talk.

Rather, it’s a volunteer endeavour driven by a love and curiosity that shines through in the 15- to 20-minute long interviews.

“Everybody has a story,” Nancy said. “So many people are multitalented. People can accomplish so much in their lives, they can overcome all kinds of adversity—health issues, or trauma, whatever. I look at them and am like ‘You wrote a book! That is so awesome.’ It’s all wonder. It’s beautiful. It’s like magic.”

Magic can be hard to find in daily life.

The Fraser Valley is a diverse place, but finding friends and people outside of one’s established social circle can be hard.

“I have social anxiety,” Nancy said. “I’m curious about people, but when I’m out in public, I’m not talking to anybody.”

Small Talk has allowed Nancy to chat, laugh, and make friends with people from a range of backgrounds. In particular, she said she has learned much more about the lives and perspectives of Indigenous people. Her show’s guests have included an Elder from Lytton, a Chilliwack business owner who explained the meaning of her facial tattoos, and a survivor of the 60s Scoop.

And some conversations have led to friendships and momentous experiences. One Indigenous guest became enough of a friend to invite Nancy to a healing ceremony. “I’ve never seen anything like that before,” she said. “It was the most beautiful experience. Sad, but beautiful at the same time.

“That was just the most beautiful touching moment that I don’t think I would ever, ever, ever in my life have experienced anything like that had it not been for my show. I’ll always cherish that—the people I’ve become friends with.”

It might have started with small talk, but it’s led to some very serious thoughts and insights.

“The biggest thing I’ve learned is that no matter where you come from, the colour of your skin, your sexual orientation, whatever it is, we’re all basically the same. We want to be loved. We want to be heard.”

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